Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
