I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have aggressive nipples.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
