i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
