I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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