you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
