Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
