everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
