is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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