I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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