OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
