Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
