and she was petting her beer can
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
