Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
