champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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