If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
