Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
