my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
