it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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