Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
