Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
