Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
