My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We named our party play list daddy issues
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
