Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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