you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
