I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
