maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Small penises have feelings too.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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