hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
