i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
