My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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