I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
