so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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