is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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