Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
