Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
