i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
