are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
