Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
