I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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