Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
