so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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