no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
