i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
