Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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