Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
