I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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