I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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