is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
