Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
