Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
