I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
