Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
